Monthly Archives: December 2008

Nash on his ass, no Artest?!?!?!

Original Article


Yes! Houston/Phoenix Brawl! Nice to get a brawl so early in the season…the players must REALLY care.

I’ll act it out for you…

Barnes: I joined this crap ass team so I could actually win…and Houston is making us look retarded. Fuck this! I’ll go after Rafer…not TMac…I prefer to live.

Matt Barnes takes a cheap shot at Rafer Alston (I just KNEW Barnes was sketchy).

Alston: Oh no this sketchy bitch did not just push me! Who does he think he is? He isn’t at Golden State anymore. This ain’t OAKLAND…it’s PHOENIX. Goofy bitch! I’ll push his ass back!

Alston pushes Barnes.

Steve Nash: Fight! Fight! I remember back in grade school that the most badass kids would always jump in. I’ve got a reputation for being weak…we’ll end that right now! Now longer does Phoenix get pushed around by big mean men in black and silver uniforms! Now we get down are DIIIIIRTAY!

Nash attempts to run into the fight and make a difference.

Nash: Yaaaaaaa-hoooooo! Nobody messes with…

Tracy McGrady knocks Nash on his ass instead.

McGrady: What the hell does this little dancing elf think he’s doing?

Shaq then pushes McGrady to the ground causing a slight earthquake.

Shaq: Somebody pushed Steve so I had to take care of my little man. It wasn’t nothing serious, though, just a push and shoving match.

The beauty of the whole thing? That was ACTUALLY Shaq’s comment to the media! I didn’t make that up! I didn’t realize such a romance had formed between the big guy and the “little man.” How touching!

Steve Nash is on his ass in a fight again…it figures. Nash loves the floor for some odd reason. And he clearly enjoys sticking his nose where it DOESN’T belong (Nose pun!…bloody nose…anyone get it? Well, I tried.).

But what kills me is that Artest wasn’t involved :(. He must have been on the bench…gotta stay on the bench when a fight breaks out! Right Phoenix? LMAO! Ahhh as a Spurs fan I just couldn’t resist.


With O’Neal resting, Rose helps Bulls beat Suns 100-83

Original Article

CHICAGO (AP) _ Reserve Ben Gordon scored 23 points, rookie Derrick Rose had 18 points, six assists and several dazzling plays, and the Chicago Bulls beat the Phoenix Suns 100-83 on Friday night.The Suns played without Shaquille O’Neal, who got the night…

Christmas Day NBA Roundup

Original Article

Merry Christmas! EVD and I hope that you all enjoyed the holiday season and the chance to fight through the lines at the mall and pretend to be delighted when opening gifts like underwear and towels. The best gift I received this year was a $100 gift card to Wal-Mart, which I plan on using to purchase cheap DVDs and deodorant. EVD got a new computer for Christmas, which should help us increase the posting level and hopefully increase our traffic. I will handle the round-up tonight since EVD said he needed to spend some quality time with himself and the internet.

There were five games in the NBA, including the marquee matchup between Boston and the L.A. Lakers. But lets start in Orlando where the Magic have quietly become one of the best teams in the NBA…

ORLANDO 88, New Orleans 68-The Magic built and 61-31 halftime lead and then curled up in their snuggies during the second half but still won by 20 at home. Dwight Howard scored 12 points and grabbed 15 boards for the Magic, who shot just 23 percent in the second half but were never threatened by the Hornets. Chris Paul scored just 12 points for the Bees and failed to record a steal, ending his NBA record of 108 consecutive games with at least one theft. The Magic have won six straight. Dwight Howard wore magical red and blue “Superman” shoes in the game and announced that he will participate in the 2009 Sprite Slam-Dunk Contest during All-Star weekend.

San Antonio 91, PHOENIX 90-The Spurs continued to dominate the Suns as Roger Mason hit a three-pointer as time expired to give his team a tough road win in Phoenix. Fat Shaq looked five years younger, not in appearance but in his play, scoring 23 points and grabbing 12 boards. O’Neal delighted the home fans with a powerful dunk over three Spurs in the first half and with a spinning hook shot following a crossover at the top of the key. STAT added 25 points and 13 rebounds for the Suns, who once again had no answer for Tim Duncan or Tony Parker. Timmy scored 25 points and hauled down 17 boards, and Parker-Longoria slashed his way around Steve Nash to score 27. The Suns bench continued to struggle, as Leandro Barbosa scored the only two bench points of the game for Phoenix.

L.A. LAKERS 92, Boston 83-Pau Gasol actually played like a man in leading the Lakers to victory in one of the most hyped regular season NBA games of recent years. Pau Pau scored seven points during the final two minutes on Thursday as the Lakers closed the game on a 13-2 run. Gasol sealed the win by blocking a 3-point attempt by Ray Allen, triggering a breakaway dunk by Trevor Ariza and burying Boston for good. The Celtics got strong performances from KG and Paul Pierce, but shot only eight free throws in what was a very physical game. Rajon Rando shot just 3-11 and showed that he really needs to work on his jump shot. The game was marred by a handful of shameless Disney Corporation promotions, one involving a movie starring the lumpy and annoying Kevin James. I would tell you what the movie his was promoting is called, but I don’t want to help out Disney. Enough already. Kobe scored 27 points and grabbed nine boards for the Lakers, and Gasol finished with 20 points.

CLEVELAND 93, Washington 89-Mo Williams is making the Cavs look better and better all the time. Williams scored 24 points and played a huge role in the Cavs win, hitting a key 3-pointer and drawing an offensive foul in the final minute. The LeBrons trailed the hapless Wiz 89-82 late in the game but scored 11 points in the final minute and a half to give the Cleveland fans something to smile about. Mike James scored 26 points to lead the Wizards. The Cavs improved to 25-4 as Williams and Delonte West combined to shoot 9-18 from 3-point range. Pro-V’s boy DeShawn Stevenson had a good game, scoring four points off the bench. He sucks.

Dallas 102, PORTLAND 94-Dirk Nowitzki scored 30 points as the Mavs rallied past the Blazers in a game that simply would not end…It is 12:43 AM and I want to go to bed. More on this game tomorrow.

91 is a multiple of 7?

Original Article

Yeah, you read that right. 91-0 in a high school football game.

I asked Shaq for a comment but this is all I got.


How does one team dominate another this bad? Maybe the coach had a personal vendetta against the other team and left his starters in the whole time.


According to the article above, Coach Bill Kramer of Naples didn’t play many of his star players. In fact they just sat on the bench while the 3rd stringers embarrassed their opponents from Estero.  What is this team doing playing another so obviously inferior? Shouldn’t the Estero team be moved to a lesser competitive conference? This team from Naples has players going on to play Division I football. They had no business taking the field with the Estero team.

A tip of my hat to the Estero team for not completely quitting. It would have been easy for head coach Rich Dombroski to just throw in the towel and quit when it was 70-0 at half. It had to be hard for those kids but they stuck it out and didn’t quit. The Naples coach should be commended for trying to do the right thing and benching his starters. He didn’t intentionally run up the score, it just kind of happened. He didn’t have his stars out there running circles around the other team.

If you didn’t read the whole article there’s a part talking about the reaction from the parents. Some parents were not happy that their kids didn’t play that much and wondered why he didn’t put them in the in an effort to pad their stats. Really? What kind of parent are you? Teaching your kids to beat up on another team they are definitely better than just to pad your stats?

I know John…I know…

Lets review

1. Florida High school football is out of control

2. Estero Wildcats don’t quit

3. John McCain doesn’t like football parents

4. I had no idea 91 was a multiple of 7

Nicholson, Bon Jovi, Shaq make the cut as New Jersey Hall of Fame nominees

Original Article

TRENTON, N.J. (AP) _ Actor Jack Nicholson, rocker Jon Bon Jovi and NBA star Shaquille O’Neal are among 30 nominees to the New Jersey Hall of Fame.Members of the public will help select the 10 inductees for the hall’s second class by voting online…

Amare Not Playing Up to Tattoo’s Potential

Original Article

Like many NBA players, Amare Stoudemire has decorated his body with tattoos. My favorite is undoubtedly “Black Jesus”, inscribed on Amare’s neck. “Knowing is Knowledge” and “Knowledge is Power” are good ones too. But the most commonly known Amare adornment says it all:

“STAT”, a sort-of-clever acronym meaning “standing tall and talented.”

To be fair to my boy Amare, he is tall (6′10″) and talented (Career averages of 21 points and nine boards per game), but he has been a huge disappointment this season for the Suns. STAT’s numbers aren’t awful – 22 ppg and eight rpg – but his effort has been lackluster for much of the season.

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Where Shaq tweets happens

Original Article

Shaq tiene una cuenta de Twitter y es real. Y cómo fue que lograron que Shaq abriera una cuenta y que ahora esté mandando mensajitos como menso cada minuto? Acaso se juntó con Iliana? Bueno, eso explicaría lo de menso, pero no lo de postear mensajitos en Twitter, porque ya sabemos que Ili casi no postea… pero sí manda alguno que otro mensajito. Pero bueno, en realidad Ili definitivamente no tuvo que ver en eso. Lo que pasó fue que un monito creó una cuenta haciendose pasar por Shaq en Twitter y se puso a mandar mensajes a un montón de usuarios diciendo cosas muy al estilo de Shaq. La semana pasada, una compañía que trabaja con Shaq, se dio cuenta de la cuenta falsa de Twitter, hicieron que el fake Shaq dejara de postear y lograron que el verdadero Shaq lo hiciera.

Esto es lo que Shaq dijo respecto al fake Shaq…

“I just want to say, ‘Nice job,’ but now let the professional take over,” O’Neal said in an interview. “There can only be one me. Uno más me.”


Anyway, una monita de los Suns le enseñó a Shaq a usar Twitter y Shaq posteó anoche que estaba tratando de convencer a Stevie que sacara también una cuenta. Yipee!

Mientras tanto, Shaq está mande y mande mensajitos a toda hora, comiéndose letras y espacios pero comunicando TODO lo que hace. Por ejemplo, mandó un mensaje para decir que iba a tomar una siesta 6 horas antes del partido, mandó otro cuando despertó (3 horas después, si tan sólo inviertiera 3 horas en mejorar sus tiros libres..), después otro diciendo que iba a la Arena, y después de la derrota contra los Lakers, dijo que estaba enojado y que no podía dormir. Antes de eso, ha posteado que ha ido a comer en un restaurante italiano, otra vez hamburguesas, otra vez que resistió la tentación de ir a McDonalds y otra vez pidió la opinión de los demás Twitterers (?) sobre si ir a Subway o a Schlotzsky’s (ganó Subway y se comió un sub de pavo con queso) y hace ratito preguntó qué tal está la nueva película de James Bond.

Oh sí, niño con juguete nuevo.

By the way, si no fuera por el tamaño de Shaq, me preocuparía de que, al estar dando tanto detalle de qué hace y dónde está, lo fueran a secuestrar o a hacerle algo.

Lo sé, increíble, me preocupo por Shaq.

Anyway todavía es difícil creer que realmente sea Shaq el que postea y no un monito que contrataron los Suns o el mismo Shaq para que esté posteando como menso. Man, I wish I got paid to tweet!

Más detalles todavía no en ESPN.